又是一個令人傷感的秋天，經過了將近三十個年頭，多的是感情受創的傷痕，一個人獨自走在擾嚷的街頭，腦子裡滿是過往的景象，身旁那些似乎熟稔的味道，一再的讓眼前閃過一幕幕的回憶，有時難掩笑意，有時卻又不自主的紅了眼，是否是老天的捉弄，亦是自己造的孽，每段感情，總是到了最高潮，就漸漸地冷卻了，想到再相愛時所許下的那天長地久，海枯石爛的誓言，到頭來，卻只剩下滿佈傷口的心，每每想起，總以淺淺的苦笑帶過，偶爾，酸了鼻頭，汩汩的流下淚來。
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Mosquito, stranger, emptiness and myself
Eight-page chilling night with hundred-pound sentimental sorrow, suddenly I lost sleep again. With candlelight and a cup of coffee, the sound of "By your side" winding around nearby my ear. The only one being accompanies me is a mosquito I am living with for several days. He's heard my sob and kept giving me comfort.
Sleepless night / 失眠的夜
It's a chilling and an all-pervasive feel ,
The question marks came into existence in me just like a newel.
Perhaps since the day we knew, I was totally attracted to you.
I have no clue, but there is just one thing I want to prove.
Every night when I walk under the misty moon, the only thought in my mind is all of you. I am just like a fool, got lost in the same blue.
這是一個令人寒心且無孔不入的感覺
問號就像一根支柱般的存在我心中
也許自從我們相識的那天開始, 我就完全的被你吸引
我不知道怎麼辦, 但是只有一件事我想要去印証
每一個夜晚當我行走在朦朧的月光下, 在我心中唯一所想的只有你
我就像是一個傻子, 迷失在相同的憂鬱裡
Love is blind? or covered eyes? / 愛是盲目的?還是矇住的雙眼
I feel that I am a loser. I am always confused myself. I hope that I have that kinda ability to solve the little tiny things such as stop bothering myself or just stop doing something useless. I am not happy, not happy to myself, not happy to the things I've done, to the ways I've treated to my friends, to the thoughts I've ever thought..... I keep being cheated and hurt. I am used to put even all of my heart and mind to love someone, but it seems that I am too stupid. Maybe I should just keep alone. Waiting for the Mr. Right? Is there really the one in somewhere? Or it's just the image we create when someone just appear right in front of you? Then you keep telling yourself that he is the one you've been looking for years. You convince yourself of your thoughts and don't even think about it. No wonder people say that Love is blind. So I think I can just cover my eyes every day and then I can not see anything, anyone in front of me. Maybe I would feel more carefree, feel more sence of security.....
我覺得我是個失敗者,我一直困擾我自己,我希望我有解決小事情的能力,像是停止煩我自己或是就停止做一些不知所云的事. 我是不快樂的, 對自己不快樂, 對自己做過的事不快樂, 對朋友的方式不快樂,對我想過的想法不快樂.... 我一直欺騙和傷害自己, 我習慣了投入自己全部的心力去愛人,但是這似乎是愚蠢的. 也許我應該就讓自己孤單,等待對的人出現?? 真的有所謂對的人嗎?? 或者這只是我們當某人就出現我們眼前時所創造出來的影像??? 然後你們一直告訴自己他就你尋找已久的那個人. 你使你自己相信, 難怪人們說愛是盲目的,所以我想我能就只是每天矇住眼睛然後我就不用去看到任何事,任何人在我眼前.也許這樣會讓我比較舒服自在,感覺更有安全感吧.
Face of the faith
這個夜晚
我從睡夢中驚醒
屋裡空氣讓人涼的發慌
在漆黑的房間裡
我所能看到的是我懸吊在天花板上那夜光的月亮
我緊緊的依偎著枕頭
試著感覺不孤單的睡去
但是你卻在此時出現在我的腦海裡
那曾經被點燃的蠟燭
燃燒著我們共有的味道
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