Love is blind? or covered eyes? / 愛是盲目的?還是矇住的雙眼

I feel that I am a loser. I am always confused myself. I hope that I have that kinda ability to solve the little tiny things such as stop bothering myself or just stop doing something useless. I am not happy, not happy to myself, not happy to the things I've done, to the ways I've treated to my friends, to the thoughts I've ever thought..... I keep being cheated and hurt. I am used to put even all of my heart and mind to love someone, but it seems that I am too stupid. Maybe I should just keep alone. Waiting for the Mr. Right? Is there really the one in somewhere? Or it's just the image we create when someone just appear right in front of you? Then you keep telling yourself that he is the one you've been looking for years. You convince yourself of your thoughts and don't even think about it. No wonder people say that Love is blind. So I think I can just cover my eyes every day and then I can not see anything, anyone in front of me. Maybe I would feel more carefree, feel more sence of security.....

我覺得我是個失敗者,我一直困擾我自己,我希望我有解決小事情的能力,像是停止煩我自己或是就停止做一些不知所云的事. 我是不快樂的, 對自己不快樂, 對自己做過的事不快樂, 對朋友的方式不快樂,對我想過的想法不快樂.... 我一直欺騙和傷害自己, 我習慣了投入自己全部的心力去愛人,但是這似乎是愚蠢的. 也許我應該就讓自己孤單,等待對的人出現?? 真的有所謂對的人嗎?? 或者這只是我們當某人就出現我們眼前時所創造出來的影像??? 然後你們一直告訴自己他就你尋找已久的那個人. 你使你自己相信, 難怪人們說愛是盲目的,所以我想我能就只是每天矇住眼睛然後我就不用去看到任何事,任何人在我眼前.也許這樣會讓我比較舒服自在,感覺更有安全感吧.

Should I trust that there is someone worth me to love and pay all of my love for me in the rest of my life? I hope so, but maybe not. I don't know.... I don't wanna keep thinking of this question, because I don't wanna bother myself and make myself crying...... perhaps just like what I said... cover my eyes forever, or just like a silly standing in the back and keep looking forward to him.......


我應該要相信有一個值得我去愛,值得我我用愛長相守的人嗎? 我希望如此,但是也許不,我不知道....我不想一直去思考這個問題,因為我不想煩我自己和讓我自己哭泣...也許就像我說的,永遠矇住我的眼睛,或是就像是一個站在後面不停看著他的傻子.....

I am still waiting for you. It has been taking some time to do so. I don't know if there is "future" to us after we meet. We will see and maybe it's another time to get a brokenheart.....

我還是在等著你,我已經花了一段時間這樣做,我不知道在我們遇見後有沒有未來可言,我們等著看吧,也許這又是另一次換取心碎的機會.